Overcoming Resistance to Change- Part 4-Challenging the Resistance

How do we view change?  Is change something to be tolerated and endured?  Is change avoided at all costs?  Is change exciting and filled with hope for better things? Our present situation, relationships, material possessions, neighborhood- all of it is in a constant state of change.  How we perceive and respond to change can determine whether we stay ‘stuck’ in our lives and our relationships.

The following actions can help us to work toward challenging our resistance to change:

1.       Reassess our support system-  Many of us fear change will lead us into an even worse situation than we are currently experiencing.  How many of us are familiar with the message- “Just leave well enough alone”, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t”.  The future can look hopeless if we are hearing messages like this from those around us.  It is important to recognize when other people are imposing their fear of change onto us.  When this happens we experience a vicarious feeling that does not belong to us.  In order to counteract this we need to broaden our support network and ensure that it contains individuals who can inspire us to grow beyond our current circumstance.

2.       Create a timeline of change- Start at whatever point in time you feel comfortable and chart the years in consecutive order.  Next to the corresponding year, identify what change took place in your life and how it affected you- physically, emotionally, and intellectually.  Include how your relationships at the time may have been impacted.  When you are finished, read through and notice when change has happened to you and when you have played an active role in bringing about a desired change.  Identify how each change could be/has been utilized as a growth opportunity and whether or not you view the change as positive or negative.  Jot down your reactions to the changes at that time and make note of any feelings of resistance or fear that you experienced. Did it belong to you?  Was it someone else’s fear?

3.       Expose ourselves to ‘success’ stories of change- Read a book or view a film about a person (fictional or otherwise) who challenged his/her fear and resistance by either taking an active role in creating positive change or responding to change in a positive way. Be aware of feelings that arise in response to the other person’s struggle.

Consider some of these inspiring stories:

Shirley Valentine (play and movie version-drama/comedy)

The Enchanted April (book and movie version-drama)

Star Wars (movie- action/adventure)

The 40 Year Old Virgin (movie-adult comedy)

Sliding Doors (movie- drama)

In America (adult drama-based on true story)

It is hoped that, in reflecting upon and eventually, utilizing the insights and tools offered by this blog, we will have progressed toward creating desirable changes in our relationships with ourselves and others.

Feel free to share ways that you have challenged fear and resistance by posting a comment below.