Lead me from the Unreal to the Real
Lead me from Darkness to the Light
Lead me from Time-Bound Consciousness to a Timeless State of
Being
-
Translated from Sanskrit & adapted from the
Pavamana Mantra
This prayer can offer spiritual guidance for
those of us healing from co-dependency in relationships. People sruggling with codependency are masters at anticipating the emotional needs of others at the expense of their own. Co-dependent behaviors
often begin in childhood and are an effective way to reduce overwhelm. A caregiver's depression, anxiety,
or rage when confronted with life stressors leaves little room for a child’s
feelings. Children rely on adults to
regulate their internal world, however, an emotionally dysregulated adult is
incapable of providing this. As a result, a child learns to adapt by diminishing
or dismissing their emotional needs and becoming hypervigilant of the adult’s emotional
state. Hypervigilance is a physical and
mental state of extreme alertness. It is
an effective way to lessen feelings of helplessness and powerlessness in the
midst of a caregiver’s emotional chaos. Essentially, when a child is able to anticipate
what is going to happen in their surroundings, they feel more in control.
A consequence of always being alert to others’ emotions is shutting
down your own. Over time, both unpleasant
and pleasant emotions become dulled, including hope, joy, excitement, and a
sense of peace in the present moment. These are beautiful qualities that
children naturally possess. When you, as
a child, rely upon your ability to shut down and dull emotions on a regular
basis to manage overwhelm, those positive qualities become locked inside yourself.
It is like an internal prison where the child can see and hear the happenings
of the outside world but is unable to express itself.
The first line of the above prayer, ‘Lead me from the unreal
to the real’ reminds you that what is real is that you are essentially a child of
the universe, possessing all of the positive qualities of a child. They are ever-present and can never be
permanently lost. You only need to be led back to their presence. What is unreal is the perception that adaptive
behaviors and beliefs that helped you survive in the past, like hypervigilance
and emotional shutdown, define who you are in the present. You can acknowledge that they were necessary in
childhood, but no longer needed in adulthood because you now have access to
outer resources, like information and supportive individuals as well as inner resources like wisdom and life experience, which you did not possess as a child.
The second line, ‘Lead me from darkness to the light’ is a
plea to free the child part inside of you from its dark prison and to
experience the brilliant wonder of the universe. In the light, you regain
connection to your true nature and the freedom to grow as a human and spiritual
being.
The third line, ‘Lead me from time-bound consciousness to a
timeless state of being’ reinforces faith in a power greater than yourself. With
faith, you can let go of that need to control, which helped you to feel safer
in the chaos of your childhood. When you
are able to connect to your higher self, the part of you that is one with the
beneficent universe, a deep sense of peace will surround you.
