At some point in our lives, we may have been given advice that sounded like, “It’s not what happens to us in life, it is what we do with it that counts.” We may have brushed it aside, been confused by it, or said to ourselves, ‘not another annoying self-help catchphrase.’ However, when we view our experiences in terms of opportunity rather than to judge them as good/bad, lucky/unlucky, we are better able to see the options available, ‘bounce back’ from disappointments, and grow as individuals.
HERE ARE SOME TOOLS TO HELP US EMBRACE OPPORTUNITY:
Flexibility- When we make a plan, it can be helpful to utilize
our plan as a guide with room for adjustment, rather than a rigid,
written-in-stone expectation. We need to allow some flexibility for the
unexpected to occur. No matter how in-charge we may feel, life continues along on its own course, according to
its own agenda and, sometimes, we are just along for the ride. It can be a relief to discover that, when we
just ‘ride’ with it, we feel less frustrated, resentful, and stuck in situations.
The experience is the
goal- It is important to set goals in our life, but when our mind gets
stuck on one outcome,
we often lose sight of the process. Very
often, it is the process of our experiences that matters most in terms of
personal growth and relationship-building.
When we appreciate the experience itself, regardless of the outcome, we
are less likely to feel disappointed or unsuccessful. When we look back on an experience, it helps
to say, “Okay, that did not have the outcome I was working toward,
however, what can I take from the experience itself?” Some additional
questions to ask:
- What have I learned about myself?
- What have I learned about someone else?
- How does this experience fit with my general view of the world?
- If I am in this situation in the future, is there something I would do differently, and if so, what?
Develop faith- Many
of us struggle with ‘should’ messages about ourselves and others. We tell ourselves ‘this is terrible, it
should not be happening’ or ‘I shouldn’t feel this way’. When we are able to
utilize some source of faith (for more info, see “Practicing Self-Care-
Spiritual Needs”) we come to accept things as they are and to understand that
everything is as it should be. The
challenge is to learn from what happens to us on our journey and to know that
we don’t necessarily have to like a particular situation or outcome in order to
gain knowledge/insight from it.
Here is a quote to inspire us by Winston Churchill, Britain’s prime
minister 1940-45 and 1951-55:
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an
optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Feel free to share your thoughts and reactions by posting a comment below.
