Overcoming Resistance to Change- Part 3-Working Through Fear

When things are not going the way we planned, whether in a relationship,  job situation, or acreative project, we may experience a sense of urgency.  This urgency is often a form of anxiety or fear.  We may feel so uncomfortable with our anxious feelings that we decide to try anything we can to ‘fix’ the issue, and therefore, eliminate our discomfort.

Unfortunately, we can end up denying ourselves the opportunity to experience our true feelings, and, consequently, our true selves. Knowing our true selves is essential to making healthy choices that are the right ‘fit’ for us and creating positive change in our lives.  If we can tolerate some of the discomfort that accompanies any change, we will benefit in the long run. 

The following actions can help us to work through our fear:

·         Write down thoughts and feelings as they arise, keeping in mind that it is for your eyes only.  The purpose is to release anxiety/tension and to put your thoughts/feelings ‘somewhere’ outside yourself.  Holding onto them can affect us in a negative way and interfere with our ability to enact change.

·         Engage in a self-inventory of your strengths, interests, skills, natural abilities, and accomplishments. Write them down and then, read them out loud to yourself once each day.

·         Talk about your thoughts/feelings with other people, however, share with the intent to release them, not to solve or fix anything. 

·         Go ‘back to basics’ and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and engaging in healthy daily activities, such as getting enough rest, hydrating, getting physical exercise, etc.

·         Find a quiet place, close your eyes, and meditate on the phrase- ‘This too shall pass’.  Remind yourself that feelings are like ocean waves.  They rise up, touch the surface, then flow out again.  Whatever emotion we are experiencing in the moment is only temporary.

 When we are able to work through our fear, we can regroup and re-examine the situation.  We will then be able to respond to change in a more effective way.  Once we allow ourselves to confront our fears, we can begin to take steps to challenge the resistance. 

The next chapter will provide the tools to do just that.