Designing a Plan To Fulfill My Needs- Part 5- Creating Balance

A person can be in a relationship with someone else and still maintain a sense of self.  What does that mean?  It means having one’s own friends, interests, leisure activities, and career/job path.  Most importantly, it means having one’s own sense of purpose and accomplishment independent of the relationship.  When we have a healthy sense of self, we are able to enjoy experiences without the presence of the other person-  free of guilt or fear that the other person will ‘abandon’ us.

Essentially, what we need to do is to create a balance between our needs and the needs of others in our relationships.

Having a healthy sense of self means knowing what our individual needs are and focusing on how we can fulfill them.  We can then allow others to do the same.  In this way, both parties are free to pursue their goals and to grow within the relationship. 

Eventually, we can bring our outside experiences into the relationship, share our thoughts/feelings about them, and be open to another person’s input.  This adds richness to any relationship and keeps both parties interesting to one another.

 

When we maintain balance, we experience:

·         Increased ability to satisfy our own needs/wants

·         Increased confidence in our talents/abilities

·         Freedom to pursue our dreams and for others to pursue theirs

·         Ability to enjoy our experiences more fully

·         Decreased feelings of resentment and guilt

·         Excitement within our relationships

I hope you have started taking steps toward getting ‘unstuck’, keeping in mind there is no set pace to accomplishing your goals and no step is ever too small.  Here is a quote from the oldest Supreme Court Justice in US history, Oliver Wendell Holmes. He retired from his position at the age of 90 in 1931.

“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.”