In the previous chapter, we explored the ‘signs’ that let us know when it is necessary to start working toward fulfilling our needs. This next exercise will help us to identify and eliminate any further resistance/fear related to making a change in our lives and getting ‘unstuck’.
Making our own decisions, carrying them out, and accepting the results, can be overwhelming and accompanied by fear. A certain degree of anxiety accompanies any decision to take action, but when that anxiety causes us to create reasons to avoid taking risks, we stay stuck. We often tell ourselves that the results will be less than desired or cause unforeseen consequences. So, why bother?
Well, the cliché is true- nothing ventured, nothing gained. By taking the risk, there is at least a chance that things may work out the way we hope. By taking no action, we guarantee that things will not work out the way we hope at all.
Once we explore the possible results of our actions, it can be easier to let go of them. When we let go of the results, we can eliminate a huge source of avoidance. Often, it is not the decision itself that is so crucial but how we come to a decision that matters. Many of us make decisions based on a feeling and that feeling is often fear- fear of being alone, fear of failing, fear of other people’s reactions/judgments.
One way to decrease our anxiety about taking action is to utilize some form of decision-making exercise. A person can create a written chart and either fill it in by themselves or work on it with someone they trust to give honest feedback.
Here is what it might look like:
Move out and get my own apartment | Continue living with my family | |
GAINS | ||
LOSSES |
See where there are obstacles preventing you from taking action and work through it with someone- a therapist, friend, family member.
If this sounds uncomfortable or anxiety-producing, the next chapter may help. It will address how to ask for help in appropriate and effective ways.
No comments:
Post a Comment