Designing a Plan To Fulfill My Needs- Part 2- The 'Signs' of Unmet Needs

Question:  How do we know if certain needs are not being met?

Many of us are able to recognize that we just aren't happy, but struggle to identify what exactly is malfunctioning in our lives.

 It can be different for every person, but here is a list of some common ‘signs’ or ‘symptoms’ that may help us to know:
1.  Physical aches/pains-  Our bodies are very effective in letting us know when something is wrong.  Be aware of recurring aches in the same part of your body.  Very often, we have ‘sore spots’ where we store stress, including feelings of resentment, guilt, and disappointment.
2.  Sleeping too much/too little-  Sleep can be the first thing that changes when something in our lives is not  working for us. We may sleep more hours than usual, but still feel tired and sluggish during the day.  We may fall asleep, but wake up periodically throughout the night- keep a notepad near your bed and jot down any thoughts or remnants of a dream that occur. Many of us experience restlessness and are unable to fall asleep, our minds filled with negative thoughts and worries (see obsessive thoughts).
3.  Obsessive Thoughts-  If we are unable to identify our needs, we may struggle with making decisions, engaging in obsessive thoughts about our choices, past decisions, and how others react to us. If we have difficulty communicating our needs, we may avoid conflict and stay silent.  This can create repeating thoughts in which we replay experiences in our head, but in the thoughts, we are actually voicing our needs and our feelings. 
4.  Lack of Goal-Setting-  How do we set goals for ourselves if we do not know what our needs are in the first place? This can cause frustration and overwhelm. In order to avoid these feelings, we fail to set goals for ourselves. When we stop creating plans for ourselves, the future can seem hopeless.

Designing a plan for fulfillment can help reduce these ‘signs’ and ‘symptoms’, allowing you to envision a more hopeful future and to take steps toward achieving it.In the next chapter, we will uncover any further resistance/fear of making a decision to get ‘unstuck’.