Social Media- To Distract or Not to Distract Part 1

“The best way out is always through.”

                                                            - Robert Frost

Many of us find ourselves bored and/or anxious during periods of downtime. We know logically that there are multiple tasks/chores we can engage in, however, we long to feel connected.  For many of us, our habit is to turn on the computer, iphone, ipad, and sign in to a social media site like FaceBook or Twitter.  We peruse the posts and the pics of everyday activities and special events alike. The clock ticks as we become more and more involved in the activity.  Gradually, we become more disconnected from ourselves; unaware of our breath, the sensations in our body, our emotions, our internal world. 

Why is this important? When a person disconnects from his/her self it is often a way to avoid unpleasant emotions.  In the modern world there are so many options for distracting from, turning off, and tuning out.  Emotions occur in the body.  They are generated from the brain and, before we are even able to say, for instance, ‘I am angry…’ or anxious, or sad, etc. our body has already experienced the emotion.  When we are not aware of our bodily sensations, we are unable to hear important messages.  Without knowledge of these messages, we are more likely to pursue an activity or a relationship that will, ultimately, be ineffective in fulfilling our needs.

When we are not aware of internal messages, we can experience symptoms such as:

• Insomnia

• Overeating

• Muscle tension/chronic pain

• Obsessive thoughts

• Difficulty concentrating

 The acts of avoiding, detaching, and distracting are, sometimes, referred to as forms of ‘dissociation’.  This is a protective function of the brain that enables us to endure physical/emotional pain.  It is necessary.  Survivors of sexual abuse often describe their experience in this way-“It was like I left my body and I was watching it happen to someone else.”  This form of dissociation preserves the psyche so that ‘parts’ of us can go on to function in everyday life while the painful emotions, negative beliefs about ourselves, and physical sensations we experienced at the time of the disturbing event, can be contained within a designated part of the self.

We also experience dissociation in less disturbing situations. Many of us have driven somewhere but, when we reached our destination, had no recollection of the actual driving experience.  It was as if we drove on autopilot, our body performing the task at hand, our mind somewhere else.  When we dissociate we are not fully in the present moment.  Like the example of sexual abuse illustrates, dissociation causes us to leave our body, therefore, the key to being present is to reconnect with the physical self.  Our body does not exist in the past or the future.   It is grounded right here and now. 

There are, of course, those exceptional situations in which dissociation is necessary and helpful.  What the use of social media can bring out in us is, not an exceptional situation, but the chronic tendency to avoid uncomfortable feelings.  These may be the very feelings we need to experience in order to get unstuck in our lives and relationships. 

In the next post, we will explore how to bring awareness back to our bodies, and, consequently, our true emotions.