Being More Responsive and Less Reactive

“Don’t just do something, sit there.”

                                           --    Slogan from Al-Anon Family Groups **

**Al-Anon Family Groups is a worldwide organization committed to the support of friends and family members of individuals who abuse alcohol.  This is a free membership that welcomes all individuals, regardless of race, culture, gender, or denomination.   www.al-anon.org

Whistling winds, snow-covered window screens, weather updates, and the knowledge that our regular routine will be interrupted.  For some of us, winter weather conditions may cause anxiety about power outages, safety of family members, or getting to work. For others, there may be the frustration and disappointment of cancelled plans.  Still, for others, the winter months may offer an opportunity to stop and just take notice of what is happening around them, to feel humbled by the forces of nature, and to take special care of themselves.

It can be enlightening to think about how winter weather conditions change the normal routine. Do we resist the change or work with ‘what is’?  Like the weather, life in general can be unpredictable and, at times, messy. When we do not accept that something is out of our control, we tend to react rather than actively respond.  Reacting can cause us to:

• Feel a sense of urgency/anxiety.

• Act without thought.

• See few options.

• Focus on fixing what is ‘wrong’.

• Experience tension/tightness in our body.

When we feel out of our control, we try to gain that control back by immediately doing something.  Taking time to think, reflect, notice where our feelings are taking hold in our body, and release them in a healthy way, empowers and enables us to respond in an active (not REactive) way. When we actively respond we tend to :

• Feel a sense of calm alertness.

• Act with true clarity.

• Focus on the opportunity to learn/grow.

• See a variety of options.

• Experience a lightness in our body, especially in the neck and shoulder areas.

A popular phrase used in schools to promote safety when crossing a street. is “STOP, LOOK, LISTEN”, which the Al-Anon Family Groups applies to making decisions and acting on them. In order to reinforce this phrase, we can write it down and post it in a strategic place, such as the car, the bathroom mirror, or the refrigerator. These words can also be used as our cell phone or computer wallpaper.

May we all find the willingness to embrace opportunities which require us to ‘Stop, Look, Listen’ before taking action.