Accepting Help from Others- Part1- How Receivers Benefit

For many of us, accepting help from others can be a challenge. A crisis can trigger feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. Allowing others to help us can cause us to think we are ‘in debt’ to another person or in a ‘one-down’ position.  Due to this, we may deny ourselves any form of assistance.  Struggling through crisis by ourselves can give us a sense of control over a situation, however, in the long run we often end up feeling isolated, emotionally disconnected, and even more helpless.  Accepting help is an important way in which we take care of ourselves. 

HERE ARE WAYS THAT ACCEPTING HELP BENEFITS US:

Connection- When we accept help from others we are practicing cooperation and working together within our community of friends/neighbors/family.  Connecting with others fosters a feeling of empowerment, gives us hope, and helps us to keep our perspective.  When in crisis, many of us develop tunnel vision, viewing our situation in a narrow way which can prevent us from seeing options.  Other people can give us a different perspective when they are situated outside the crisis and looking in. If we are in a crisis of a more global nature, connection to others is just as important as we lean on one another for support, validation, and understanding.  This relates to the ‘all in the same boat’ concept where everyone is on equal ground. 

Humility- Accepting help from others can connect us to our spiritual selves.  A fundamental element of any spiritual practice is to be humble, acknowledging that we cannot know it all or do it all ourselves.  We are part of a greater whole- a link within the chain of our families, neighborhoods, earth, and the universe.  When we see ourselves from this perspective, we can be more open to the exchanges between links which are necessary for surviving and thriving in our world.

"Just as water cannot collect on mountain peaks, so good qualities and blessings cannot gather on the rocky peaks of pride."- Geshe Kelsang Gyatso's Transform Your Life: A Blissful Journey.

In the next chapter, we will look at how givers benefit when they offer help to others.