Practicing Healthy Detachment in Relationships- Part 1-The Nature of Healthy Detachment

For most of us, when we hear the word ‘detach’, we think of behavior that is cold, uncaring, and selfish.  However, when practiced in a healthy way, detachment can demonstrate compassion, genuine concern, and respect for another person.  It is the art of allowing people to be who they are, not who we want them to be.  

Here are ways in which we demonstrate healthy detachment:

• When we let go of our expectations of others and do not try to make them fulfill our own wants/needs, we are practicing healthy detachment.   
• When we are able to remain in a place of joy or satisfaction while being in the presence of someone who is in a negative place, we are practicing healthy detachment.
• When we refrain from offering advice and ways to ‘fix’ things, but truly listen to someone else, we are practicing healthy detachment.
• When we allow someone to make his/her own decision and follow through with it, even though we believe it will not have a beneficial outcome, we are practicing healthy detachment.
• When we appropriately set a boundary with someone by refusing to engage him/her in an argument, we are practicing healthy detachment.

One of the most important aspects of healthy detachment is the ability to remain open to possibility in our lives- embracing the joy to be found in relationships and the courage within ourselves to grow as individuals, even though someone we care about is struggling.

The next chapter will look at how our lives are impacted when we are unable to detach.