Utilizing An Emotional Diet- Part 4- Release Time

As mentioned in the last chapter, increasing our self-awareness by ‘checking in’ with ourselves is essential to an emotional diet.  Once we are more self-aware we are better able to identify feelings and then engage in activities that allow us to release them in a healthy way.  It can be a challenge to carve out time in our busy schedule to do this, however, ‘release time’ is a necessary part of our emotional diet. 

Here are some activities that can help us to release feelings:

Professional Counseling-  Time spent weekly or bi-weekly with a mental health professional offers a private, supportive, and structured environment in which to not only verbalize what we are feeling, but to express it.  This may involve crying or yelling out our frustrations, essentially, allowing our body to do whatever it needs to do without censorship.  It can be therapeutic when we allow ourselves just ‘to be’ while in the presence of a non-judgmental witness to our pain.

Mutual Support Group-  We can gain ‘experience, strength, and hope’ from sharing with others who are struggling.  This is the foundation of 12-step groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous and the many other ‘anonymous’ groups in the community.  Be aware that support groups today vary in purpose, age, gender, and topic.  They may be described as meetings, workshops, clubs, or committees, however, to be effective as a support group, they should share the same foundation- use of members’ personal experiences to create a sense of purpose and bonding without the presence of a professional to structure and mediate discussions and/or activities.  They are, essentially, run by and for the members.

Physical Exercise-  Our emotions are basically energy churning within us and our bodies let us know when feelings are triggered.  When we are boiling with anger, our blood pressure, respiration, and pulse increase.  When we are filled with fear, blood circulation to our extremities decreases, muscles tense, and our pulse increases.  To release anger or frustration, we can try punching a punching bag or pillow, doing sit-ups, jumping rope, or engaging in a routine activity until we feel physically drained, not just slightly sweaty or tired.  To release nervous energy or anxiety, we can try power-walking, climbing stairs, or progressive muscle relaxation, which involves tensing and relaxing each muscle in a very focused, structured way.   For guidance in this technique, listen to the CD “Letting Go of Stress” by Emmett Miller, MD, available on www.amazon.com.  

When attempting to incorporate ‘release time’ into our emotional diet it is helpful to keep an open mind.  We can’t be certain what type of physical activity will help us until we try it. It is important to focus on the process of learning what works best for us without judging our efforts.  Sometimes, it takes a few tries before we know if something is helpful.

This blog may inspire some of us to begin creating a healthy emotional diet for ourselves. It may have helped others to recognize that they are already utilizing an emotional diet, but would benefit from adding some of the ideas expressed in each chapter.

Utilizing an Emotional Diet- Part 3- Learning Time

According to Wikipedia, our bodies are made up of approximately 642 muscles.  In order to build our muscle we need to challenge it on a consistent basis by engaging in a workout, sometimes pushing our bodies past our expected limit.  It is also necessary to push ourselves in other ways.  What enables us to ‘bounce back’ from life struggles, to problem-solve, and, essentially, to grow as a person, is our emotional resiliency.  Resiliency increases as we encounter new experiences, face the challenges they offer, and allow for some emotional discomfort.

The following ideas can help us to incorporate new experiences into our emotional diet:

Read-  The possibilities are endless when we pick up a book or magazine or explore a blog or article on the internet.  We can discover new information and expand our understanding of the world around us as well as our own views and biases on so many topics. 

Get Active- Take a class or workshop that provides hands-on experience in learning a new skill or expanding on an existing one.  Most community colleges offer continuing education/personal development courses which are time-limited and relatively inexpensive.  We can also support our local community by signing up for an adult education course at our local high school or library.  These courses are generally offered by local residents who possess a particular talent or knowledge and can provide an opportunity to connect with others in our neighborhood.

Explore -  We do not need to take a cruise around the world or visit an exotic location, although these are ways to step outside our comfort zone. Most of us tend to follow the same route to places we visit on a regular basis.  Try taking a different street, exit, or highway to get to the same place.  Explore your own neighborhood by walking or driving down each consecutive block and finding out where it leads to.  Rather than relying on technology, try to utilize a printed map and explore the next town over to where you work or live.

Increasing our resiliency through learning requires stepping out of our comfort zone and, most likely,  making mistakes and learning from them.   We may experience anxiety, however, it is important to remind ourselves that this feeling is appropriate, only temporary, and does not have to stop us from taking a step.  In the words of actor John Wayne, famous for his role as an American cowboy-  “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”

May this blog inspire us to ‘saddle up’ and keep moving forward on our journey.

In the next chapter, we will explore opportunities for emotional release.

 

 

 

Utilizing an Emotional Diet- Pt 2- 'Me' Time

Just as it is important to connect with others, it is necessary to connect with our inner selves and to ‘check in’ as often as possible with our body and our mind to know if we are practicing sufficient self-care.  When we take care of our own needs we are better able to be there for others and to maintain peace and fulfillment in relationships. 

Here are some ways to incorporate ‘me' time into an emotional diet:

Journaling-  There is no one way to journal as long as we are able to transfer our thoughts and feelings into the outer world.  This can be done on paper or a computer.  It is important to focus on the process and not the end product.  Our written expression does not have to be grammatically correct, make perfect sense, or even contain complete sentences.  It is not necessary to share what we have written with anyone. We can tear it up, throw it out, or delete it from our computer when we are finished.  We will know we have achieved our goal when we feel less burdened, stressed, and our minds are clearer.

Meditation/Mindfulness-  It is essential to set aside time that belongs solely to us- time that is quiet, private, and free of distractions.  The more often we are able to do this throughout the week, the more beneficial it will be.   We can close our eyes and sit with our feet flat on the ground and our back straight or lay down on a comfortable surface.  By placing both palms over our diaphragm, we can be mindful of the inhalation and exhalation of breath.  We can then repeat an affirmation to ourselves.  An affirmation can be one sentence or one or two words that help us to let go of worry, be in the present moment, and relax our body.  We need to repeat it to ourselves the same way each time.  It should be positive and in the affirmative.  Example- I WILL let go of negativity rather than, I WILL NOT worry. 

Leisure Activities-  It is helpful to incorporate activities which utilize our strengths, skills, and natural talents into our emotional diet.  These activities help to feed the soul.  If we are unsure what activity to try it may help to think back to childhood and the things that kept us busy and interested- creating with play-doh, crayons, or paint, building model airplanes or cars, constructing with legos, or doing jigsaw puzzles.  When we are nurturing our inner selves there are no age limits.  Maybe we are already engaging in fulfilling activities, but lack clear intent or awareness as to how these activities impact us in a positive way.  It is important to be aware of and then let go of feelings of guilt about ‘wasting’ time while at leisure. The important thing is to be able to focus on the present moment, rev up brain functioning, and have fun. Todd Kashdan, psychologist and contributing author for Psychology Today magazine says that “…playfulness is a fundamental part of a life well-lived.”

In the next chapter, we will explore the importance of stepping out of our comfort zone and learning something new.

Utilizing An Emotional Diet- Part 1- Social Time

An essential part of our emotional diet involves the ways in which we connect to other people.  We are all social beings to some degree so that the ‘right’ amount of time spent socializing varies depending upon each individual person.  It is important, however, for all of us to include some amount of social time from week to week. 

How Do We Connect?

Many of us utilize social media such as Facebook and email to connect with others.  This can help us to remain up- to- date on what is happening in other people’s lives and to offer current information about our own happenings, however, we need to be careful not to replace face-to face encounters with technology.  As human beings, we are comprised of energy.  When we connect with someone while in that person’s presence, we are exchanging energy.  Sometimes, the connection is emotionally draining and we give out more energy than we receive.  Other times, a wonderful flow of energy occurs between people.  As energy is exchanged, we might feel ‘energized’ and inspired by the connection rather than depleted.  It is important to seek out and maintain these types of connections on a regular basis.

What Kinds of Connections?

Relationships can serve various purposes within our neighborhood, at work, or at school, however, we need to ensure that at least one of our connections centers on emotions.   As part of our emotional diet,  sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings with another person on a regular basis is essential. This person can function as a witness to our emotional struggles, help us to ‘contain’ overwhelming feelings, share similar struggles, and offer an alternative perspective on a troubling circumstance. When we are able to verbalize our feelings to another person, we often feel less confused and more in control of our inner world.  We are then less likely to act out in impulsive and unhealthy ways which enable us to avoid or distract ourselves from our true emotions.

The key to any diet, including an emotional one, is habit. 

When we incorporate healthy elements into our routine we will receive long- lasting benefits and be better prepared for the ups and downs that accompany us on life’s journey.

In the next chapter, we will explore the importance of ‘me’ time in our emotional diet.

Utilizing an Emotional Diet- Introduction

Many of us pay careful attention to our nutritional diet.  We cut portions, eat low-fat snacks, and try to squeeze in a salad here and there.   We are particular about the way our clothes fit, what the scale registers, and the ratio of fat to muscle tone.  Unfortunately, when it comes to our emotional health, many of us fail to expend the same amount of care.  Emotional health like our physical health requires conscious thought and effort in order for us to achieve our personal goals and to bring the best parts of ourselves into existence.  In the next few weeks we will work on creating and utilizing an emotional diet. 

 

Here are the essential elements:

• Social time

• Me time

• Learning Time

• Release Time

In the first chapter, we will look at the importance of social time in our emotional diet.