Accepting We Are Not Perfect- Part 3- Developing Resiliency

Our progress, as humans, moves in a spiral, not a straight line.  This means that, as we move upward and onward, we are also returning back to similar points of opportunity/challenge.  Through these opportunities we are able to learn about ourselves and the world and, ultimately, grow as individuals.  It is important to recognize that in order to grow we need to ‘bounce back’ from whatever experiences we encounter, to be resilient, otherwise we remain ‘stuck’ at one point, continually rotating around and around without actually moving upward on our spiral of progress.

One way to develop resiliency is to practice nurturing ourselves. Sometimes it is easier to forgive, encourage, and support other people than it is to do for ourselves.

 Here are some important points to consider in developing our own resiliency:

1.       It is helpful to accept that we are imperfect.  This means we, as humans, are filled with possibility and creative problem-solving talents.  We can tell ourselves that we are ‘normal’, the way nature intended us to be.  We have been given the ability to change how we think and feel, not because we are already perfectly put together, but because we need to grow and progress as individuals.

2.       It is important to know when we are recognizing room for improvement  vs. ‘beating’ ourselves up about perceived mistakes.  When an experience does not turn out the way we had hoped, we often blame ourselves, ignoring all of the other variables involved or placing more value on our own actions. 

3.       How we view the past can either help or hinder our resiliency.  It is helpful to look back on the healthy risks we have already taken, focusing on the process as well as the outcome, and identifying something we have learned about ourselves or others from the experience.  We can then ‘collect’ these opportunities for growth in our mind or write them down in a journal and refer to them when a new opportunity arises to take a healthy risk.  It can reinforce the value of all experiences regardless of the outcome.

4.       Our ability to accept whatever feelings arise in a situation can increase our resiliency.  It is important not to judge our emotions, labeling them ‘good / bad’ or telling ourselves what we ‘should’ or ‘should not’ be feeling.  We can experience a feeling, own it, and then let it pass, recognizing that feelings are like the waves of an ocean, rolling in and then always rolling out again with the tide.

Here is a quote from American author and marketer, Elbert Hubbard, an outspoken and unconventional person who pursued his ‘American Dream’ in the late 19^th century:

“The greatest mistake in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.”

May we continue to take healthy risks, be open to the process of learning, and embrace all of the possibilities in our lives.