A Life of Pie

Creating life balance can be a challenge for most people. For those of us struggling with codependency it can be a battle.  We, most likely, become hyper-focused on one person, situation, or activity, channeling all of our time, energy, and thought into one area of our life.  If we wind up neglecting all else, we prevent ourselves from expanding, as they say, our ‘horizons’.  The common adage, “Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket” warns against this.  Why?  In order to grow emotionally and to actualize our talents, skills, and knowledge, it is necessary to ‘stretch’ by trying new activities, taking on new projects, and forming new connections,  then incorporating them into a ‘life pie’.  This builds our reservoir of emotional resiliency, which is like a mental immune system.  It enables us to bounce back from disappointments, losses, and the various changes that life inevitably throws our way.  Rather than becoming devastated and ‘stuck’ when things don’t work out in one area of our life, we can continue to function in other areas, maintaining a sense of competence and positive energy.

If our life here on earth is a pie, then our job is to work on dividing our pie into multiple slices or areas of activity.  We need to consider the size of each slice or how much space we want it to occupy.  This correlates to the amount of time and effort we expend on a particular area and the importance we assign to it.  It is necessary to keep the size of our slices flexible as life changes occur, altering our responsibilities, interests, and relationships.  We may need to eliminate, replace, or add new slices.  

 

Here are some basic slices our life pie might include:

	Family Relationships  Peer Relationships  Relationship with Significant Other  Work/School  Leisure Activities/Personal Interests

 

 

 Just as it is important to include fresh, tasty, and healthful ingredients in an edible pie, consider the quality of what is inside each slice of our life pie.  Do the ingredients fulfill the purpose of that particular slice or could it be made more filling?  If we find that we are not expending our total effort in a certain area, maybe it is because the quality of the ‘ingredients’ is lacking and fails to motivate or inspire us.  For example, we may find that a particular relationship is no longer as fulfilling as it was several years ago when we were at a different place in our life.  We can add new ingredients or elements to the existing relationship or let go of them and start fresh with a new relationship.  Maybe we have advanced beyond our current yoga class and feel bored or unmotivated.  We can add ingredients by having a friend join us in the class, switching instructors, or trying an entirely new form of exercise/relaxation.

Consider the quantity of ingredients in each slice of our life pie.  This relates to the thickness of our slices.  Are they filled adequately or superficially, made up mostly of outer crust?  A slice may seem packed with flavorful ingredients, but when we look closer, beneath the surface, there is not enough filling.  We may want to reduce the size or percentage that slice occupies in our life pie or keep it the same size, but add some more filling to it. For example, we may want to continue devoting the same time and energy to our yoga practice, but make it ‘thicker’ by switching to a more advanced class or transferring to a different yoga studio with new instructors and students.

Consider the overall taste of each slice.  Does it cause a fresh, new, make-your-taste-buds-tingle sensation or is it the same old flavor?  Do we even notice the taste or are we going through the motions of chewing, swallowing, etc.  Sometimes, it helps to increase our mindfulness and to be more in the present moment to know how or, even, if a relationship, activity, or project is still having a positive impact on us.  We may need to take a short break when something tastes stale, add new ingredients, or eliminate that slice altogether. For example, we may be going to work each day, repeating the same routine, not being challenged, and checking out mentally and emotionally as we perform our job duties.  We may want to ask for a promotion, add new job duties, seek other employment, or decrease the size of this slice and go back to school part-time. 

The two most important things to keep in mind as we build up and explore our life pie are:

·         Be flexible and embrace options

·         Celebrate the process and know there is something to be gained  from each experience

May we cherish each moment- taking pleasure in the one slice sitting before us, just waiting for us to take a bite!

Feel free to share about your own 'life pie' and how it is both challenging and rewarding by posting a comment below.